so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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