she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
