He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
