Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
