Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
