honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
