Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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