The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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