I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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