how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
this beer tastes like vomit already
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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