at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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