I'm really into asian looking animals
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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