So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize