i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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