Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
