she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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