drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
