How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's blow job season.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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