We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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