You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
