it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
