This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
