I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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