my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
