i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
