I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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