my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
