We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
