my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
