Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
