HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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