home. puking in laundry basket.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
