Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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