Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize