On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
