I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
