how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
