Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
