yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
