she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
