his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
