I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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