just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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