im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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