Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
PANTIES FOUND
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
