Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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