Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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