Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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