I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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