Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize