I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
