does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
