so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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