tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
