well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
