Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
