This girl is more easily done than said...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
