just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
