so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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