And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize