Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
