I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
