Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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