ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
