FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
