She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
