you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
