Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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