you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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