i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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