before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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