I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
